Just a few hours at BlogHer ’12 was enough to remind me what blogging is about for me. Don’t care much about SEO or Google Analytics on the one hand; don’t care much about brands on the other. No, for me, it’s all about the writing. Obviously.
The big surprise came later, during a Writing Lab session on The Voice of the Essayist with Polly Pagenhart. The discussion turned to the essay as a long form, and I started to feel … anxious. Exhausted.
All this time I thought I wanted to write essays alongside my poems! Apparently not — or, at least, apparently not now.
Apparently, what I want to write is blog posts. Just one idea, stated clearly, possibly even beautifully. Who knew?
But there’s more …
***
From my journal, Tuesday, August 7, 2012 — Were there cicadas whirring, crickets chirping, birds twittering as I nursed a restless Gnome to sleep last night? I don’t remember.
I remember only a moment of letting go of my planning planning planning, a moment of settling into — well, fear. Fear that what was there was barely there: the August evening, my baby’s dimpled knuckles and fat wrists.
And I can’t help myself, I keep thinking about how much easier everything will be when my baby is two years old, big enough for a couple three days of day care, and I won’t need to rely so much on late nights for getting the work done.
I can’t help myself, and yet I’m also sad that I don’t remember anymore what it’s like to be pregnant — the word placenta alone fills me with sorrow — and soon I will have no baby, but a boy —
***
I love the immediacy of the form, that by writing here I can join in on a conversation about mothering, about working, about making art — about figuring out how we ought to live in this hot and crowded twenty-first century.
I write because now isn’t going to last forever: soon I will have no baby, but a boy. And I blog because it is not enough to write these words in my journal. I want to tell you.
***
Why do you blog? Please share — either via the comments, or by linking up a post, old or new.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I feel very much the same way. That blogging/sharing is a way of savoring, before it all changes or even while it’s all changing. And it’s easier for me to let it go if I’ve taken a moment to relish it.
I also blog to practice writing.
Yes, for practice, too! That was actually what got me started, the idea that I could practice *and* have people read my words.
Can I just say that I’m glad you blog? I really, truly am. I’m due for some thinking on this subject, so I hope I can get my mind to focus enough to write a post about it. In any case, there’s more than one simple reason why I blog, but that desire to savor the now is definitely a big part of it.
You are too kind, Melissa. And I must say I love your “what’s new” series — what a practice, to notice so much and write it all down. One big savory meal, every week.
I love this whole idea of blogging as capturing now. Especially since now will look so much different when it is then, and our babies aren’t babies anymore.
It was wonderful to meet you an the Gnome at BlogHer’12. I tried to chase you and catch up to you a few times, but the crowds were pretty fierce. Next time, right?
Yes, indeed — I’m hoping and planning to be in Chicago! And, since I am sans smart phone (probably will be without one then, too), I will probably make arrangements to see folks in advance next time.
Mmm…that really spoke to me – that idea of blogging being the need to TELL people, to SHARE. I think that is why I blog – because a journal would be getting it out of me but sharing it with no one. And I want to share. I want to participate in a community. I want to know that someone is reading my words.
I’m not really sure why I do it. I think it’s all your fault, really. At first, it seemed like it would be fun (because I have had so much enjoyment reading yours and others – mostly from your links). Then, it was fun because I pretended I wasn’t me. Then that wasn’t so fun. Then I stopped. Then I missed it. Then I started again – but it was a challenge, a weekly accountability, like a long run, a music lesson, a practice, trying to be me and be present at least once a week. And now? Not sure. Maybe because it creates a space that I like being in, a treehouse to escape to and to get a bit of perspective from. Still thinking about it.
If it’s my fault, then I hope you’re still having fun….
It’s like a family historical document, our blogs. Sometimes that is enough.
6512 and growing recently posted… ordinary magic
Hi.
Followed you here from the lovely comment you left at sixyearitch.
I’ve read your posts, I like your openness and love of sharing.
I blog because I am a happy person when I do it.
I feel connected and part of something bigger. I am taken out of my problems, life, and able to feel like I can help others.
Blogging has given me purpose, and validated that my existence on this planet is one that makes a difference to others.
Blogging is something that has been nothing short of a gift from the gods.